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Manners -- They're Not
Learned by Osmosis!
While attending a holiday gathering of adults and teenagers last night, we
witnessed something that is prompting this column today:
As the crowd formed a line for the buffet table, two teenaged boys knew
to step to the side and wait for the adults to go first. And this is the
point -- they knew what to do and they did it. We were floored. Any display of
social savior faire by kids today is VERY rare, and this was a fresh breath of
air. When we passed them we commented on their good manners and class -- "Thank
you for your thoughtfulness. You've been taught well!" we told them. They
just smiled and nodded.
And this is the other point: somebody taught them how to behave -- manners aren't learned by
osmosis. These boys were a credit to their parents, but unfortunately, kids
"making their folks proud" is seen less and less in our society today. For
whatever reasons (and we think the media is playing a HUGE role here), kids are
behaving badly (there are even TV shows that celebrate this -- "Girls Gone
Wild" and "The Bad Girls Club," for instance). And for whatever reasons,
this trend seems to be growing and it's our sense that it's even being
winked at. We're here to say "Enough already. It's time the socially
ignorant received some training!"
In looking at this issue, we at Woogi World asked what could be done to
address at least some aspect of it? And this is where our "controlled chat"
came from. We took an entity that's here to stay (online chatting), and
defined and refined it for the purpose of teaching kids what is and what isn't
socially acceptable in terms of verbal interaction. Since cyber-chatting isn't
going away, why not train kids in the proper use of this tool -- give them a safe
place to make mistakes, learn from them, and emerge socially cyber-gracious, we
concluded.
Then we added the elements of accountability and coaching. Our Online Kids
Coaches closely monitor Woogi chat -- kids don't get away with anything on
Woogi World. Here's a typical coaching modus operendi: Let's suppose little
Susie attempts to say something unkind (even with a contained and controlled
vocabulary, kids are very creative). A coach sees it, calls her on it and holds
her accountable. It's explained to her why what she said is wrong, and what
she could have done differently. Depending on the infraction and frequency,
Susie may be asked to write a note of apology or she may be banned from chat for
a while. You can bet that after this coaching, she understands that certain
things (like online chatting) are a privilege and if she wants to participate,
she'll have to behave accordingly. And chances are good she's translating
this lesson into other areas of life, like classroom or playground behavior, for
instance.
Every day now, kids on Woogi World are
learning that being rude, unkind, uncouth, etc. doesn't fly. And they're
also learning that being nice is not just OK, it's
COOL! We're confident that as time goes on, Woogi World kids will be a generation
that will "make their parents
proud".
To that end we're working hard at Woogi
World to support you as parents. So we're interested in your thoughts on the
state of kids today and what more we can do to help you in your efforts in
raising your families, so talk to us. Parenting is a tough job, but remember
you're not alone. By now you know our motto: "We're all in this together,
and together we can make great things happen"
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