Defining The Meaning of "Safe"

As the V.P. of Corporate partners for Children's Way, I have an opportunity to watch the habits, behaviors and chat logs of Woogi World™ children on a daily basis. And as is often the case with my children, I learn a great deal just by listening and watching.

Recently, I came across several chat logs where one subscriber was asking another subscriber for inappropriate information. In some instances the techniques for acquiring the information were overly sophisticated, appearing to be above the age group for Woogi World™. In other instances, the same old schoolyard, peer pressure tactics were engaged to obtain the desired information.

Yet despite the techniques and bullying tactics applied, the responses were uniform. Each child consistently and ultimately admonished the person for breaking the rules of Woogi World™. In one instance, the old "I thought you were my friend" line was used, but still had no effect. The response was, "I am, but the rules say I should not tell you that information."

What I find most exciting and enlightening is the rapidly growing number of children embracing and using their power in the face of inappropriate behavior. I am seeing more and more children respond to such situations confidently and without hesitation. From my observations, it appears that more and more Woogi World™ children have embraced the idea of "community" and are willing to stand up for the ideals of that community!

This consistent appropriate behavior of our Woogi World™ children is helping me to understand what a "safe environment" is and how we can continue to expand on the concept.

I found three consistent components in each of the chat logs described above:

1. Knowledge of the rules – the basic training (mandatory for every Woogi World™ subscriber) teaches rules of appropriate behavior.
2. Rules of engagement – in each instance the respondents stated that what was being requested was against the rules, and they would NOT break the rules.
3. Community support - I believe that the confident responses and immediate reporting of these instances (to Dr. Wiggenstein or a parent) shows the children's belief/understanding that they are supported in their decisions and that their community will restore order swiftly. Such consistent community response tells them it is OK and safe to speak up when things aren't right!

WOW! It is possible to teach children how to recognize unsafe behavior, how to respond to it confidently, and in doing so, create a community in which they are excited and comfortable participating.

As parents, we know children do better in environments where they are comfortable. They are more exploratory, communicative and willing to try new things.

Simply put, they feel safe!

So, now when asked to define "safe environment," I must respect the lessons taught me by our Woogi World™ children. They've shown me that "safety" is:

A combination of appropriate mindset and behavior validated by a community of like-minded people.

The young develop a mindset and behavior through repetition and consistent response to inappropriate behavior. The " community" element is created as all participants are 1)armed with the same knowledge of the rules, and 2)see a consistent response to inappropriate behavior from the community. Strength and confidence are gained as everyone works together to create and maintain a safe and comfortable environment.

Can you imagine millions of children having the opportunity to grow up learning a common set of rules of behavior and seeing early in life the benefits of this good behavior—all the while working together to build safe and strong communities?

We need not imagine a world where this is not the case. Rather we need only look around and watch the continued decline in common courtesy and unwillingness of people to stand up and say "no, that is not OK!"

I learn a great deal from children but would love to have some feedback from parents. Let me know what your children are teaching you and your thoughts on what makes a safe environment.

Eric M. Clare
V.P. Corporate Partners

Children's Way Foundation